Office Decorum

Today we had a close to two hour lecture by boss on office decorum.

What happened was that office Chao Ah Beng found a "unidentified" sports bag sitting on his desk for a good part of the day. Annoyed, he opened it to see who the culprit was.

Like a hero, ignoring the possible viral and bacterial ramifications, Chao Ah Beng picked up the white cotton granny panties inside the bag and walked around the office (two fingers of both clutching at the ends of the panty). He walked around, displaying the panty macham like "Show and Tell" and said:
"Whose TOWEL is it ah?"

Ah Beng kia literally walked round the office like a proverbial gangster, carrying the panties by his fingers and asked around in a very beng manner time and again - "whose towel is this" to all and sundry. He even went to the office "pondan" (whom i fondly nick named "Tiffany" - after the thailand's ladyboy show) - and asked him - "your towel ah?"

I asked ah beng how come he never ask the office kopi aunty whether the panty belongs to her. His reply: "aunty so old where got wear panty?". In his mind adult diapers does not exist - for him, the panty is just a piece of clothing to hold in place the sanitory pad!

Acutally the scene is very funny when you witnessed it. But apparantly the rather plumb accounts gal took offence (as the panty was hers). She subsequently complained to boss about sexual harrassessment!

Because of that, we kena long lecture from boss (and Ah Beng kena issued a warning letter!).

While boss is lecturing about office decorum, he illustrated the point that what if customer or third party come to our office and witnessed ah beng walking round with panties in his hands. "People will think what kind of organisation I am running?" Boss said.

The above sceanrio painted by boss is so funny that I and Lao Hiao tak boleh tahan. We laughed out loud even though this is a serious "lecture" session.

We were both rebuked and kena cited as examples of poor Office Decorum. Boss said that we talk is like fishmongers at a market or as if a husband and wife quarreling .... vey unbecoming, especially in office!

After the long lecture, we did our our "post mortum" of boss harsh words.

I said if only panty got "xiao ding dang" picture we know whose panty it belongs to and we would be spared the scolding.

We gossip that the plump accounts girl who complained must be withheld sex the other nite.

I also chided Ah Beng for being insensitive - say "whose handkerchief instead of whose towel lah!".

Our Indian Foreign Talent, Pushpam (nick named "Sperm"), acutally suggested to next time pin the panty on the office notice board so that people would know whose bag this belongs.

I don't believe what i am hearing, Sperm is actually serious in his suggestion! Why must pin clothing or anything inside the bag. Can't we actually put a notice and indicate that the sports bags is under so-and-so care? With brain like that no wonder office chaotic!

With the lecture, the current "buzzword" in our office is now "DECORUM". Its "decorum this" and "decorum that".

I saw Lao Hiao eating and chewing (dam disgusting, look like cow chewing grass the way the mouth and jaw move from side to side) - i told her to chew properly, office decorum - don't want third party to see that we have cow in the office.

Office Xiao Mei Mei also not spared. She has this small soft toy thingy attached to her handbag - I told her, "decorum - staff toy for is bed room. You think come office to koon (sleep) is it? ...." This comment elicited laughter - everybody here at one time or another have actually koon on the job before.

Our office progressive and very international - we got "siesta" (afternoon nap) as our work culture .... only other organisation that i know of in Singapore got this siesta culture is the Singapore Armed Forces! 
The decorum comments actually went out of hand I feel. Lao Hiao went up to a quiet 'mind my own business' chap in our office and pointing to his combover - balding pate worse than mine - and said insensitively: "decorum - cut your hair - you botak (bald) but little hair you got very long. Hair flip here flip there. Wait third party come to office and think our staff are all members of a boy band!"

Got lots more 'decorum' comment - but will continue later - must pretend to work - decorum mah!