Definition of a Lao Hero (The "uncle" hero)

In my work place I have been called "Lau Hero". Normally the word 'hero' denotes a positive attribute - one tat is has the higher moral standard than those tat surround him - and tat he has to lift up to that moral standard even if its to his own personal detriment.

But in my personal life, where got so chim. For a flippant, immoral guy who life's pursuit is 'pleasure of the flesh' - the "heroic" properties take on another life dimension.

A lao hero is one who is simply daring - almost foolhardy. He can't be assed about what others' think of him. Most probably the lao hero is so densed that he doesn't even know or care that others are laugh AT him anyway!

(A foolhardy is person who gambles his life savings on a football bet. He is confident because an Indian Fortune Teller Bird, (named Mani) "revealed" to him the winning team ........

talking abt Mani and foolishly following its advice, ....... hmmmm wonder how "Kentucky Fried Parrot" taste likes......   

At work, when the boss gives an unreasonable order or made a stupid comment - you can rely on the fact the Lao Hero will open his CB mouth to pass a remark or suggestion. And you can bet his remarks -suggestions will be even dumber than the bosses' comments. (The Lao hero thinks that the shaking of one's head, or slapping of the palms of the forehead and chorus of "wah lan-wah liao" are analoguous to applause)

Other derring do of a Lau Hero involve simple things. Such as like during 'mah-jong' when got "Kou-cheong", the lao hero is expected to discard the the 'forbidden mahjong card' and has to pay for everyone game.

The Lau hero is also the aging romeo. It is particularly funny if he plays the romeo on a "lau hiao" ("no spring chicken" - aging aunty looking bitch who still dresses provocatively).

Good luck to you if you happen to catch a zaogeng, upskirt or peekaboo of a lau hiao. Its dam disgusting and a nightmare. (Even Lao heros are advised not to throw the "forbidden mahjong card" if he accidently see a Lao Hiao's panties.).

The Lao Hero is also famous for his fashion faux pas. For example , this uncle's Fashion sense so lao-yah, tat even ah soh at market comment my colour combination.

I once wore an Orange T-shirt with Green Bermudas and blue slippers which invited an ah soh to remark tat my dressing "cannot match".

What is ridiculous is tat the ah soh who made this comment thinks tat to douse oneself with hong u is the same as spraying yourself with perfume. The bitch actually thinks tat "hong u" is like Chanel No 5 perfume - she literally doused herself with "hong u" and think she smell good.

Anyway I am cheapskate. I thot if got headache, i need only to go near her and smell her - save money as no need to buy hong u medicated oil. But KNS (which means "Kan Na Sai" or "like shit" literally) .... what I didn't realise is tat everyone got personal bawu  - and that when combined wrongly (with hong u) emit a smell worse than shit. The first time i sniffed the aunty because I want to save money on Hong U, I vomitted.

Now that you know what a lau hero is, I will tell you about how i lived up to my billing as a lau hero....... stay tuned folks!